Saturday, 2 August 2014

A life of goodbyes (friendship part 1)



In my job, and especially at this time of year, I spend a lot of time at the airport; picking up new people – Step teams who stay for a few weeks or Stride volunteers who stay for a year or two; and then inevitably saying goodbye to them too.

I know that many others have written about this aspect of being a missionary in another country; the sense of making friends with people who don´t stay around for long, and having to say goodbye often. And I guess in my job as Short Term Coordinator, that sense is exaggerated. Others emphasise the sadness of goodbyes, but also the blessing of having friendships all over the world.

I´m not entirely convinced. (I´d like to be convinced but I´m not there yet!)

What I´ve realised lately is that even my local friendships, are with people who share a similar outlook as me, and have a vision for their lives beyond the here and now. So sooner or later, they leave too. I know that in this day and age, it´s relatively easy to keep in touch with people via the internet - but that is very different from being able to have a real conversation and share from your heart.  Or even to write and receive letters (actual real letters, written on paper!) that express the deeper stuff of someone´s life. But it seems like letter writing is a dying art, so my letters mostly go unanswered.

Lately I´ve been reminded of the passage from 2 Corinthians 6 and I love the version in the Message:

“Companions as we are in this work with you, we beg you, please don´t squander one bit of this marvellous life God has given us. …. Our work as servants gets validated – or not – in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly… in hard times, tough times, bad times, when we´re beaten up, jailed, and mobbed, working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we´re telling the truth and when God´s showing his power; when we´re doing our best setting things right; when we´re praised, and when we´re blamed; slandered, and honoured; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognised by God; terrifically alive, though rumoured to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; living on hand outs, yet enriching many, having nothing, having it all. Dear, dear Corinthians, I can´t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn´t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren´t small, but you´re living them in a small way. I´m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!”

And lately one particular phrase keeps coming back “immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy”. Occasionally it feels like I´m drowning in the tears, and struggling to find the deep joy. But I keep searching.

And I realise that what I offer in friendship isn´t (or at least shouldn´t be) about me. What I get out of something should never be my motivation. So (through many tears), I make this pledge:
I will continue to invest in friendships, regardless of how long they might last; I will carry on writing to friends far away, ignoring the lack of replies; I will continue to pray for those who are close to my heart, but far from me physically; and I will continue to spend half my life at airports!

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