In my
job, and especially at this time of year, I spend a lot of time at the airport;
picking up new people – Step teams who stay for a few weeks or Stride
volunteers who stay for a year or two; and then inevitably saying goodbye to
them too.
I know
that many others have written about this aspect of being a missionary in
another country; the sense of making friends with people who don´t stay around
for long, and having to say goodbye often. And I guess in my job as Short Term
Coordinator, that sense is exaggerated. Others emphasise the sadness of
goodbyes, but also the blessing of having friendships all over the world.
I´m not
entirely convinced. (I´d like to be convinced but I´m not there yet!)
What
I´ve realised lately is that even my local friendships, are with people who
share a similar outlook as me, and have a vision for their lives beyond the
here and now. So sooner or later, they leave too. I know that in this day and
age, it´s relatively easy to keep in touch with people via the internet - but
that is very different from being able to have a real conversation and share
from your heart. Or even to write and receive
letters (actual real letters, written on paper!) that express the deeper stuff
of someone´s life. But it seems like letter writing is a dying art, so my
letters mostly go unanswered.
Lately
I´ve been reminded of the passage from 2 Corinthians 6 and I love the version in
the Message:
“Companions
as we are in this work with you, we beg you, please don´t squander one bit of
this marvellous life God has given us. …. Our work as servants gets validated –
or not – in the details. People are watching us as we stay at our post,
alertly, unswervingly… in hard times, tough times, bad times, when we´re beaten
up, jailed, and mobbed, working hard, working late, working without eating;
with pure heart, clear head, steady hand; in gentleness, holiness, and honest
love; when we´re telling the truth and when God´s showing his power; when we´re
doing our best setting things right; when we´re praised, and when we´re blamed;
slandered, and honoured; true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the
world, but recognised by God; terrifically alive, though rumoured to be dead;
beaten within an inch of our lives, but refusing to die; immersed in tears, yet
always filled with deep joy; living on hand outs, yet enriching many, having
nothing, having it all. Dear, dear Corinthians, I can´t tell you how much I
long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn´t fence you in.
The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren´t small, but
you´re living them in a small way. I´m speaking as plainly as I can and with
great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!”
And lately
one particular phrase keeps coming back “immersed in tears, yet always filled
with deep joy”. Occasionally it feels like I´m drowning in the tears, and
struggling to find the deep joy. But I keep searching.
And I
realise that what I offer in friendship isn´t (or at least shouldn´t be) about
me. What I get out of something should never be my motivation. So (through many
tears), I make this pledge:
I will
continue to invest in friendships, regardless of how long they might last; I
will carry on writing to friends far away, ignoring the lack of replies; I will
continue to pray for those who are close to my heart, but far from me physically;
and I will continue to spend half my life at airports!
No comments:
Post a Comment