Monday 11 November 2013

Quiet


When I returned to Guatemala from the UK, I carried about a dozen books with me, most of which were borrowed or given from the bookshelves of friends and family who I visited. One book which I actually bought was 'Quiet; The Power of Introverts in a World That Can´t Stop Talking' by Susan Cain. Those who know me, would easily recognise that I´m an introvert and it´s been really interesting reading this book. It talks about the general differences between introverts and extroverts. Not just the general opinion  (ie introverts recharge their energies by being by themselves and social situations wear them out, whereas extroverts experience the opposite) but also a whole bunch of scientific / sociological research about how introverts and extroverts respond differently in different situations (public speaking for instance, or risk taking.) The book also says that society (USA - but I think it has a similar application in the UK - and Latin America for that matter), has been sold the 'extrovert ideal', the idea that to be an extrovert is the ideal in how we interact with each other. For that reason, children who love to sit by themselves and read books (or engage in another hobby), are seen as a bit weird and told to 'come out of themselves', rather than encouraged in their interests. In business or the world of work, there´s an assumption that introverts need to 'speak up' more often or 'sell themselves' better - all of which assumed the need to change to be more like extroverts. Even in creative roles, there´s an assumption that better ideas come from group brainstorming or interaction, when actually the evidence shows the opposite. The book calls for a more balanced approach and an appreciation for the skills and gifts that introverts bring to any role or work place - even if they won´t shout about it themselves. 

A few days ago, at the end of a very busy week, a friend commented to me that 'You´re in a very social job for someone of your temperament'. In one way she´s right. I do get very tired by the social interaction that´s needed in my role. But there´s also lots of my role which is perfect for me as an introvert. I love to have deep and meaningful conversations with people on a one to one basis (a classic introvert trait, whereas extroverts prefer more superficial topics in group settings). In my job that often includes talking about self awareness and recognising who we really are - which are common themes when we´re living and working in a different culture - or about calling and God´s purposes for our lives - a key element in short term mission experiences  - or about what we value in ourselves and others - again a key aspect of serving God in another country. I love all of these conversations and much more in my job. 

But at the same time, I know that I need balance and times by myself in quiet. In the last few months, I know that the balance has been a bit wonky, and that I haven´t had enough times of quiet, when I can reflect and work through everythings that´s happening or when I can just rest in God. In another book, I´m reading, Richard Wurmbrand (a Romanian pastor imprisoned during the Communist regime during the 50´s and 60´s) talked about his experience in solitary confinement by saying "When the mouth is too much open, even to speak good, the soul loses its fire just as a room loses warmth through an open door. Slowly, I learned that on the tree of silence hangs the fruit of peace."  I like that. I´m trying to reorganise a few things in my life, so that I can have more quiet.

1 comment:

Chris Mac Bruithin said...

Hi Suzanne, great post. I recently finished Quiet too. Great book! Thanks for sharing, Chris