Quiet.... part 2....... or introverts in mission

So I´ve been thinking more about quietness. Towards to the end of the book, Susan Cain talks about the ways in which introverts choose to interact in the extrovert world. All introverts closely observe the interactions that are going on around them, but they choose to engage with it in different ways. The concept is called self-monitoring. High self-monitors are those introverts who watch how people interact - and then basically copy it, or change their own behaviour, in order to fit in or whatever. On the other hand, low self-monitors don´t. Low self-monitors feel that to change the way they interact naturally, is deceptive or even unethical.
All of this made me think about adapting to a new culture as a missionary. So much of doing mission in a different culture is exactly what high self-monitors do -- observing the interactions around you, and adapting your own interactions to fit in. And it reminded me of an article I read a while back called 'Am I still Me?' by Dodds and Dodds. "Going across cultures requires a person to change his or her core self in significant, even profound, ways. Adjusting to and internalising the values and practices of a new culture requires that one reliquish aspects of the self shaped in the home culture. These changes may be welcomed, even fostered, or they may come at a high cost."
When I first read about self monitoring, I could easily recognise that I am generally a low self-monitor. It feels wrong to try to act like someone else in order to be accepted. I know that in mission, it´s not just about wanting to fit in, in some sort of insecure way, but is more about a sense of respect for others and sacrificing your own ways in order to honour others. But no matter how long I´m in another culture and how much I adapt to it, with all the effort that that requires, there´s still a bit of me that feels like I´m being false or dishonest in some way. It´s a wierd place to be - wanting to do all I can to adapt to another culture and honour the people in it, but also feeling like it´s not who I am. It makes me really appreciate those friends who know me well  - both at ´home´ and here, people with whom I can be myself - even at the times when I´m not entirely sure who that is.